We have some exciting events coming up this month! Date: Saturday May 9, 2020 Time: 1:30pm PDT / 2:30pm MDT / 3:30pm CDT / 4:30pm EDT / 5:30pm ADT Location: Zoom video conferencing RSVP: https://bit.ly/aucABAB Facebook event: https://www.facebook.com/events/2482024898718004/ You will receive an email with a link to the webinar within 24 hours before it is scheduled to start. What is neurodiversity? How can we better support neurodivergent and disabled folks in our communities? How do we leverage our individual and collective power to act on disability justice? All Brains Are Beautiful is a free introductory workshop on neurodiversity, autistic identity, disability justice, collective access, inclusive event planning, and more! The same workshop will be held again on May 23, 2020. Time: 1:30pm PDT / 2:30pm MDT / 3:30pm CDT / 4:30pm EDT / 5:30pm ADT Location: Zoom video conferencing RSVP: http://bit.ly/aucABAB2 Facebook event: https://www.facebook.com/events/533030684048150/ Date: Sunday, May 31, 2020
Time: 1:30pm PDT / 2:30pm MDT / 3:30pm CDT / 4:30pm EDT / 5:30pm ADT Location: Zoom video conferencing RSVP: https://tinyurl.com/aucinfodump Facebook event: https://www.facebook.com/events/568333843789054/ You will receive a link to the webinar within 24 hours before it is scheduled to start. Come join our digital celebration of autistic passion and interests! As autistic people, our intense interests are a source of great meaning and joy. Let’s share that with one another! In this online symposium, volunteers will give 5 minute talks on a topic they’re passionate about, with time for questions from the audience. If you are autistic and are interested in participating as a presenter, send us an email (info@autisticsunitedca.org) with a 1-3 sentence proposal of a topic you’d like to present on. If you would like you can send us multiple topic proposals, and we can help you select one of them. You will need a computer microphone. Deadline for proposals: May 15, 2020
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[Image description: Illustration portrait of Ariis Knight, a person in a wheelchair looking up with medium length brown hair and wearing a scarf and a flower necklace. Yellow banner surrounded by flowers above reads: "Ariis Knight April 3, 1980 - April 18, 2020" Yellow banner below reads "Ariis' Law" Text: "Patients with disabilities need the care and advocacy of someone who knows and loves them. <3 (heart) The presence of family or a support person can reduce anxiety, support patient safety, and enable communication and decision making. <3 (heart) We are not visitors-- We are essential partners in care <3 (heart) @drawing.change #NotJustAVisitor"] Image Credit: Drawing Change Her name was Ariis Knight. She was 40 years old. She communicated through her eyes and facial expressions; she had a beautiful smile. She was described to have a "bold sense of fashion" and a "huge personality". She died alone in the hospital without access to support staff or family. A non-speaking B.C. woman with cerebral palsy who "defied limitations", Ariis was admitted to Peace Arch Hospital on April 15th and died days later. Because of unclear COVID-19 restrictions, the hospital denied access to support staff and family who would have supported her communication and decision-making at the end of her life. We know in the disability community that if there isn't someone to be with a disabled person at the hospital, to say these are the supports this person needs, to say we are watching if medical neglect happens (and it does), they can die. While we do not know if the lack of communication and support directly resulted in her death, it could have played a role and certainly impacted the quality of her care and carrying out her end-of-life wishes. The unjust circumstances around her death were entirely preventable. Allowing support people and family to aid a disabled person at hospital visits is essential, not exceptional. It is also the responsibility of the hospital to ensure disabled people have access to communication supports, whether that be AAC (augmentative and alternative communication) or a support person. It in Ariis's case, she died without anyone who cared for her around her. This is not simply a tragedy; it is an injustice that was created by ableism and systemic failures to ensure disabled people are protected during the pandemic. Her story isn't unique. We are hearing across the country that disabled patients in hospitals are being denied access to supports, when policies are unclear and implementation is inconsistent in designating support staff and families as essential. Self-determination, supported decision-making, and communication access are human rights that cannot be denied during a pandemic. Disabled advocates have been flagging this as an issue for weeks. We call on the federal and provincial governments to act urgently to put a stop to these unjust deaths. We urge governments to: 1. Create unified policy across Canada with clear, unambiguous language deeming support staff and family as essential to accompany disabled people needing supports for communication, decision-making and specialized care in hospital visits. 2. Mandate access to alternative and augmentative communication (such as the patient's own AAC device, a sign language interpreter, or a support person who understands their communication style) in all hospitals and clinics. 3. Implement these policies comprehensively at the provincial and territorial level with training and orientation of hospital staff. 4. Strengthen and streamline existing complaints processes through patient quality care offices, so that accessibility barriers can be addressed in a timely manner. 5. Support hospitals in making plain-language materials to help disabled patients understand their situation and options. These changes need to happen now. But they won't help Ariis, who has passed on and left behind loved ones to mourn her and remember her. As a community, we grieve for the tragic loss of a fellow disabled person's life. We remember you, Ariis. Rest in power. ---- Share our five calls to action with your MP and provincial/territorial representatives to demand for change in Ariis's memory. You can look up contact information for your federal representative / MP on the Parliament website. Use the links below to find contact information for your provincial/territorial representatives: For this year's Autistic Acceptance Month, Autistics United Fort McMurray chapter organizer Christopher Whelan has written a series of short essays on autistic rights. We have selected a few of our favourites to share! [Image description: An Alternative and Augmentative Communication placard with signs for various food and drink related words] Normalize Alternative Communication Traditional methods of communication, like spoken word, are often inaccessible to autistic people. Some autistics do not speak. Of those autistics who can speak, many of us find spoken word to be overwhelming to our senses and uncomfortable to do for long periods of time, if at all. Some members of our population go into “non-verbal space” and are drained of their capacity for spoken word when they are in sensory overload. While speech language pathology is often prescribed for autistics that are disabled in spoken communication, and can be very helpful in bridging communication needs, normalizing mandatory speech rehabilitation as a default prescription is not inclusive or in the spirit of Autism Acceptance. Speech language pathology is a barrier to place on an autistic person as it is an extracurricular exercise they must take in order to accommodate typical society. Instead of placing the onus to “make up” for their disability on the disabled, we must make society more inclusive of the needs of people disabled by communication demands. To achieve accessibility of communication, alternative communication must be widely understood and normalized. Alternative communication can come in the form of sign language, hand signals, writing, typing, symbols, pictures, and Alternative and Augmentative Communication as shown in the placard above. Alternative communication can be its own language, agreed upon by people who have never met each other, such as American Sign Language or written language, or it can be as simple as a hand gesture privately shared between two people who know each other. Autistics call for the expansion of alternative communication so that more people are familiar with these communication styles and can reciprocate communication with them. Alternative communication must be normalized and held in the same regard as if the person using it was speaking. Other select essays:
Christopher Whelan is an autistic social worker living and working in his home community of Fort McMurray, Alberta, Canada. Christopher is a founder of Neurodiversity YMM and Autistics United Fort McMurray – Cree, Dene, Dane-zaa, & Métis Territory. After months of consultation with autistic self-advocates, Christopher published The 95 Theses of Neurodiversity in April 2020. You can read more of his work on his blog, AutisticRights.net. For this year's Autistic Acceptance Month, Autistics United Fort McMurray chapter organizer Christopher Whelan has written a series of short essays on autistic rights. We have selected a few of our favourites to share! [Image description, a black button with white words “quiet hands”, with the “quiet” crossed out to say “loud” in multiple colours] All ABA Hurts Autistics Applied Behavioural Analysis (ABA) therapy is the practice of converting autistic behaviour into neurotypical behaviours through the documentation and evaluation of behaviour and then re-directing it to more acceptable expressions. It has had a traumatizing effect on autistic people, and the communal trauma of this still-prescribed therapy reverberates throughout the autistic community. As well as being linked to post-traumatic stress disorder in adults, ABA does not produce results in shaping behaviour except for facilitating shame, despair, and self-harm. ABA, as its founder Ivar Lovaas had envisioned and practiced it, utilizes torture implements against people who exhibit autistic behaviour, open-hand violence, and denying subjects food and sleep until they stop exhibiting autistic behaviours. Lovaas-styled ABA is still practiced today around the world, closer to home than anyone would like to believe. While the use of aversive-based therapies are a clear example of anti-autistic violence, we must also challenge the idea that the new “Gentle ABA”, which is gaining traction in the West as a referred therapy for autistic people, is a reformed and gentle version of its original namesake. Instead of using torture and aversives to convert autistic behaviour into neurotypical behaviour, it is instead achieved through incentivizing neurotypical behaviour. Subjects are given candy, playtime, and other rewards for exhibiting acceptable learned neurotypical behaviours instead of the expressions that come most naturally to them. Instead of being punished for appearing autistic, they are rewarded for appearing neurotypical. That is why “Gentle ABA” does not produce results. It does not re-direct behaviour. It encourages us to appear a certain way, temporarily. Neurodivergent circles use the term “Masking” to describe incidences where we must appear to be neurotypical in order to meet our basic needs, be safe from harassment and bullying, and be treated as an equal in society. Quietly sitting in place when we want to run around a room screaming, and keeping quiet when we want to say our favourite words and talk about our special interests, are examples of Masking. Masking is inherently both harmful and necessary in our world. Gentle ABA incentivizes autistic people to wear their Mask more tightly and more often, even in their own homes when nobody would think less of them for exhibiting autistic behaviour. But the longer you Mask, the more susceptible you are to low self-esteem and mental unwellness. By internalizing that what you naturally are is sinful, bothersome, and a burden to the people around you, you wish harm on yourself. Autistics who naturalize their own Mask, and wear it too often, are more prone to developing addiction, self-harm behaviours, suicidal thoughts, and to attempt suicide. People who did not know that they were autistic also report that having naturalized their Mask lead to these harmful experiences. Autism Acceptance means normalizing autistic behaviour in society. It means a guarantee that autistic people will not be considered lesser than a neurotypical person or lesser than an autistic who exhibits atypical behaviours less frequently. It means working towards a society where we will not need to mask to keep ourselves safe, and disenfranchising therapy programs that incentivize masking. Other select essays:
--- Christopher Whelan is an autistic social worker living and working in his home community of Fort McMurray, Alberta, Canada. Christopher is a founder of Neurodiversity YMM and Autistics United Fort McMurray – Cree, Dene, Dane-zaa, & Métis Territory. After months of consultation with autistic self-advocates, Christopher published The 95 Theses of Neurodiversity in April 2020. You can read more of his work on his blog, AutisticRights.net. For this year's Autistic Acceptance Month, Autistics United Fort McMurray chapter organizer Christopher Whelan has written a series of short essays on autistic rights. We have selected a few of our favourites to share! [Image description: a plate of chicken nuggets, fries, and two dipping sauces, one golden brown and one white]
Safefood: The Medicinal Properties of Chicken Nuggets Every culture in the world recognizes the healing power of food. The confidence and optimism for the day you feel when you eat a breakfast full of nutrients. The emotional healing that a bowl of ice cream after a bad day brings you. Families growing their connections to each other by eating dinner at the table together. The comfort of your favourite meal, cooked by your mom. There is nothing in the world so disastrous to a person that good food cannot help you heal from, if only just give you a temporary break from all your other stimulus. Autistics have a very special connection with food. We develop personal relationships with it. Our favourite foods are not just comforting to us; they are as important to us as every other comfort item we fall back into when our world becomes too overstimulating. Our favourite foods are our stability and our safety. Autistic culture has coined two terms to describe our relationships with our favourite food: safefood and samefood. Safefood is a food that brings us joy, comfort, and peace when we eat it. Samefood is a food that we have grown so attached to that we can, or do, eat it every day. It is very normal for safefood to also be samefood. Because different autistic people have different sensory profiles for what we can tolerate and what excites us, safefood is not universal. An autistic person who has a low tolerance for stimulation might prefer food with soft textures, like Kraft Dinner, mini pizzas, and chicken nuggets. An autistic person who needs lots of stimulation to feel anything may enjoy a bowl of mapo tofu, hot wings, or kimchi more than most people and have that as their safefood/samefood. But once we have developed that personal connection with a dish, that bond is hard to break and really should not be tampered with as it is a mental health support. The dish, once we find one that comforts us, should always be prepared in the same way. It should be the same brand, the same ingredients, and the same chef. If this routine can be maintained, the highest comfort for an autistic person follows. Nothing is worse than our safefood/samefood having its recipe changed, or it being taken off of grocery store shelves. Right now during the COVID-19 state of emergency, I have relied on my safefoods, like teriyaki rice bowls, cheddar broccoli pasta, and mini pizzas for emotional support as the lockdown has interrupted nearly every other one of my comforting routines. Having this food is directly tied to my mental health. If something ever interrupted my ability to make cheddar broccoli pasta, that is my brain's signal that the world is ending and I am in danger. But if I can make a cheesy, fresh bowl of creamy pasta any time I want, my brain knows that everything in my world is going to be okay. I am safe. Other select essays:
--- Christopher Whelan is an autistic social worker living and working in his home community of Fort McMurray, Alberta, Canada. Christopher is a founder of Neurodiversity YMM and Autistics United Fort McMurray – Cree, Dene, Dane-zaa, & Métis Territory. After months of consultation with autistic self-advocates, Christopher published The 95 Theses of Neurodiversity in April 2020. You can read more of his work on his blog, AutisticRights.net. For this year's Autistic Acceptance Month, Autistics United Fort McMurray chapter organizer Christopher Whelan has written a series of short essays on autistic rights. We have selected a few of our favourites to share! [Image description: Overhead shot of six disabled people of color at a rooftop deck party. An Indigenous Two-Spirit person with a prosthetic leg smiles directly at the camera and gives a thumbs up while everyone else is engaged in conversation.] Photo from Disabled and Here. Promote Neurodivergent Peer Support & Advocacy Groups A neurodivergent sharing circle is a place where neurodivergent people can learn to slowly unmask and grow into our natural selves. It is a place of acceptance, kindness, and celebration of who we are. It is a place where we do not need to keep track of unwritten social rules, follow cues, or pretend to be somebody who we are not. When a group facilitator works to ensure that everybody has a chance to speak, uninterrupted, it can be a place where everybody has a chance to tell their own story, from their own perspective. When we are allowed to share this way without interjection from others, and be heard by people with similar experiences, it develops a bond of community between the sharer and the listeners that is not found outside of the circle. When we are accepted by others, we learn to accept ourselves. When we are loved by others, we learn to love ourselves. Neurodivergent sharing circles are critical supports for mental health and community integration. Normally, outside of our homes, we have to behave a certain way and follow unknowable social rules in order to be accepted. Acceptance and love in typical community spaces like workplaces and businesses is conditional on following these behaviours we did not come up with or agree upon. We have to wear a mask and pretend to be a different person in order to receive this conditional acceptance. Wear the mask for too long, and you begin to feel that all love is conditional, and all acceptance is conditional. We begin to feel that our real selves are unacceptable and unlovable. When you believe that you are broken and unlovable, that is the cause of addiction, self-harm, and suicide. But when you are in a space where love and acceptance are given to you without condition, then good mental health follows. These circles are also important for the perpetuation of disability culture, and the sharing of our history and values. In society, disability is seen as something that is experienced alone, and that being disabled makes you the “other”, and an unacceptable burden to the abled people around you. But disability is a communal experience, not an individual experience. Even if we exist on a spectrum, we have similar social experiences of being excluded or made to feel unworthy because we were disabled. Or that we had to hide who we were in order to be accepted. Linking our experiences together in the sharing circle transitions the individual story to the story of us all. When you share your story, and the challenges that you face, people who have experienced or are experiencing what you are going through can offer guidance on what can be done to build strength and support. Disability elders, who have lived with disability for a long time, can guide disabled youth on what they did when faced with adversity. People in the sharing circle often develop friendships, and check in on each other to ensure that everyone is well and adequately supported. When a communal story of disability identifies a common barrier that members face, then the whole circle can advocate together for an official response to the barrier faced. The circle can bring testimony based on multiple lived experiences to politicians and community leaders, as the voice of many speaking together is stronger than one voice alone. Instead of relying on advocates who do not have lived experience to bring disability issues forward, a whole community of people with lived experience can offer accurate, cohesive solutions that benefit disabled people to those leaders who can make the change. We ask that communities and disability services create space for neurodivergent sharing circles to take place. We ask that neurodivergent sharing circles become recognized as essential mental health supports. And we ask that these sharing circles remain by-us and for-us, lead by neurodivergent people, with all people holding equal status and equal authority in the circle. Other select essays:
--- Christopher Whelan is an autistic social worker living and working in his home community of Fort McMurray, Alberta, Canada. Christopher is a founder of Neurodiversity YMM and Autistics United Fort McMurray – Cree, Dene, Dane-zaa, & Métis Territory. After months of consultation with autistic self-advocates, Christopher published The 95 Theses of Neurodiversity in April 2020. You can read more of his work on his blog, AutisticRights.net. For this year's Autistic Acceptance Month, Autistics United Fort McMurray chapter organizer Christopher Whelan has written a series of short essays on autistic rights. We have selected a few of our favourites to share! [Image description: A television news reporter interviews a black woman outdoors, while a camera person films the interview] Include Autistic People In News Stories About Us Stories about autistic people are frequently in the news. Spotlight stories showcasing autistic people starting their own businesses, achieving awards, and organizing and participating in community events can receive national or international recognition. There are also frequently news stories about social issues affecting autistic people, such as funding or defunding of disability supports. In almost all of these stories, a reporter will interview and quote the families of autistic people, professionals that work in the field of autism support or science, and charities who are associated with autism. But autistic people are very rarely included in stories about us and the issues that affect us. When a reporter interviews our caregivers and the professionals who work in fields related to autism, but will not interview autistic people, we are made to feel as though we are zoo exhibits. If a reporter wants to learn more about the lions at a zoo, they will speak to zoologists, or the lion’s handlers at the zoo. They will not climb into the lion’s cage and interview them. But autistic people are not zoo animals. We are people, with equal status as persons as caregivers and autism professionals are. So we would really like to be treated as people, not exhibits. The news is the window through which the general population learns about the issues affecting other people. When autistic people are not included in stories about us, our needs and our perspectives are not heard by the general population. Without autistic input in the news stories affecting us, the general population will not learn about the things we need to achieve equal rights and social equity. Stories about autistic people, and autistic culture, are also critically important to growing our community of self-advocates. When news stories are told about the struggles that autistic people face, from the perspectives of caregivers and professionals, that can make autistic people who can pass as neurotypical want to identify as neurotypical in order for the people in their life to not take pity on them. When news stories are told about the lives of autistic people, from the perspectives of those people with lived experience, an autistic person or a person suspecting that they are autistic can connect with the person being interviewed in the news story. When we build connection, we build community. We move towards acceptance, rather than pity. In order to achieve a social acceptance of autism, we need more news stories about autistic people and our daily lives, and we need them told from our perspective. We need interviews, consultations, and spotlights. We need our stories to be widely accessible to a general population, through news media. And we need to be included in all stories about us. If you are talking about autism, get an autistic person involved. Other select essays:
--- Christopher Whelan is an autistic social worker living and working in his home community of Fort McMurray, Alberta, Canada. Christopher is a founder of Neurodiversity YMM and Autistics United Fort McMurray – Cree, Dene, Dane-zaa, & Métis Territory. After months of consultation with autistic self-advocates, Christopher published The 95 Theses of Neurodiversity in April 2020. You can read more of his work on his blog, AutisticRights.net. For this year's Autistic Acceptance Month, Autistics United Fort McMurray chapter organizer Christopher Whelan has written a series of short essays on autistic rights. We have selected a few of our favourites to share! [Image description: Three Black and disabled folx smiling at each other while strolling down a sidewalk side by side. On the left, a non-binary person walks with a cane in one hand and a tangle stim toy in the other. In the middle, a woman rolls along in her power wheelchair. On the right, a woman walks and gestures.] Photo from Disabled and Here. Let Us Lead Autistic people are absent from the boards and guiding committees of many autism services and nonprofits, and their absence is felt in the work of these organizations. When autism services are guided by committees without any member having the lived experience of being an autistic person, that lack of expertise results in unsatisfactory organizational results. Services developed by autistics for autistics are sensitive to the holistic needs of our population, and produce better results. Autistic leadership can also help organizations steer clear of actions that would provoke a negative response from the community that they serve. Consultation with autistic people alone is not enough to ensure that “nothing about us without us” is fully realized. Consultation comes after the initial idea and conversation about a new initiative that takes place in the board room. Lived experience self-advocates must be present for that initial idea and initial conversation in the board room, so that the idea has a competent direction from the beginning. Lived experience self-advocates must also be able to put forward our own ideas from the place of being a director, and influence the core principles and mission of an organization, in order to provide the best practices for the well-being of our community. Autistic people need to see people with their lived experiences in positions of leadership in order to see themselves as capable of becoming a leader themselves. When neurotypical and allistic people hold all of the power over us, the autistic consumers of services, then that becomes our cultural image; that an autistic will never achieve what a neurotypical or allistic person can achieve. It becomes engrained in our minds that neurotypical and allistic people are destined to hold the power and the voice, and autistic people are meant to be the passive receiver of services and should not be seen or heard. Placing autistic people into positions of leadership, guiding our services, means that person can serve as a role model and show that autistic people are capable of being leaders in their community and around the world. A minimum 50% representation of lived experience self-advocates should be the goal of any board of directors or guiding committee for an autism organization. To achieve “nothing about us without us”, the autistic self-advocate directors should be able to vote as a bloc to overturn initiatives seen to be progressing an ableist agenda or an initiative that would not be well-received by the autistic community. Placing this much power in our hands is a demonstration that these organizations believe in the power and competence of autistic people, and that we should be both seen and heard. Other select essays:
--- Christopher Whelan is an autistic social worker living and working in his home community of Fort McMurray, Alberta, Canada. Christopher is a founder of Neurodiversity YMM and Autistics United Fort McMurray – Cree, Dene, Dane-zaa, & Métis Territory. After months of consultation with autistic self-advocates, Christopher published The 95 Theses of Neurodiversity in April 2020. You can read more of his work on his blog, AutisticRights.net. For this year's Autistic Acceptance Month, Autistics United Fort McMurray chapter organizer Christopher Whelan has written a series of short essays on autistic rights. We have selected a few of our favourites to share! [Image description: twelve people in casual clothing sitting around a board room table]
Value the Input of Autistics on Autism Policy “Nothing about us without us” is a creed in the disability world meaning that all policies affecting disabled populations must be subject to substantial consultation with the affected population before they can be enacted. Autism services, nonprofit organizations, and policy makers have a duty to consult with autistic people before launching initiatives, and when reviewing and auditing the impact of autism services. “Substantial consultation” means that the pool of disabled people consulted must be high in volume and diverse in background. We feel the need to differentiate “substantial” consultation from “token” consultation as we continue to face tokenization in the consultation process. Token consultation occurs when the number of abled people consulted on a policy affecting disabled people outweighs the number of disabled people consulted on the policy, and/or the input of abled people reaches the final product to a higher degree than the input of disabled people. An autistic self-advocate is tokenized when they are “consulted” on policies affecting them, but their input is not valued and their advocacy is not apparent in the outcome of the policy. Token consultation is not appropriate or acceptable in spaces that work to be inclusive of disability. Token consultation is an important issue in autistic self-advocacy because there are funding dollars for nonprofit organizations attached to consultation. There are organizations that want that extra funding, but do not want the trajectory of their initiatives to be impacted by autistic self-advocates. During the consultation, many self-advocates are silenced during the process, we face bullying from abled people on the consultation panel, and in many cases our contributions are not valued and barely reach the final report if at all. But because the final report can honestly state that lived experience advocates were consulted, the organization receives the dollars that they are applying for. To combat tokenization, we require a commitment from all people who donate to autism organizations, and all people on funder panels who distribute funding for autism organizations, to be critical of what degree an autism organization consults with autistic people. When an organization releases a consultation report prior to the enactment of a policy or initiative, ask questions about what autistic self-advocates had to say during the process. Ask for the names of self-advocates who were consulted, and reach out to us. And if an organization cannot produce a consultation report before launching an initiative or policy, take your funding to an organization that can. Other select essays:
--- Christopher Whelan is an autistic social worker living and working in his home community of Fort McMurray, Alberta, Canada. Christopher is a founder of Neurodiversity YMM and Autistics United Fort McMurray – Cree, Dene, Dane-zaa, & Métis Territory. After months of consultation with autistic self-advocates, Christopher published The 95 Theses of Neurodiversity in April 2020. You can read more of his work on his blog, AutisticRights.net. For this year's Autistic Acceptance Month, Autistics United Fort McMurray chapter organizer Christopher Whelan has written a series of short essays on autistic rights. We have selected a few of our favourites to share! [Image description: a silhouette of two hands holding, the background is the ocean during a sunset] Healthy Autistic Sex [Content warning for sex, sexual abuse, eugenics, child luring, ABA] It is for some reason still confusing to most people that disabled people have sex. Even able-bodied disabled people are not expected to be sexual. This comes from our history of disabled people being forced-sterilized under eugenics laws, and cultural ideas that people with divergent brains cannot give valid sexual consent. For so many decades, it was abominable to consider that disabled people were procreating and birthing another generation of disabled people. It was the goal of eugenics to “thin out” the number of disabled and neurodivergent people, and to promote the breeding of neurotypical people. But we are still here. Eugenics still echoes in the ways that we think about disabled and neurodivergent family life, and this has caused barriers to healthy sex lives for autistic people. Many autistic people who were in special education classes did not receive sex education, like their peers. Because of this, topics like consent, bodily autonomy, choice, relationship abuse, and sexual health were not taught to them. Even if they were taught, how can any lessons about consent and bodily autonomy be taken seriously when BCBA’s are grabbing their wrists and punishing them for behaving in ways that are intolerable to typical people? How can we teach a child not to take candy from people who want to sexually abuse them, and that they should take candy from a BCBA as a reward for acceptable behaviour? How can we teach an autistic child how to differentiate between people who use positions of social authority like priests and Scout leaders to sexually abuse people in their care, and the autism professionals that they will be punished for not obeying? Being raised up in this environment where you are at the mercy of professionals and authority figures, while other children are being taught the importance of their own autonomy, sets us up for normalizing relationship abuse and sexual abuse. An abuser who pouts and gets angry at us for not making ourselves sexually available when they want feels an awful lot like the caregiver or teacher who pouted and got angry at us for stimming in class. As we were taught to live to impress the people with authority in our life, so too were we taught to live to please anybody who claims authority over our bodies. When we do find sexual partners who respect our bodies and respect our autonomy, we are sometimes told that they are with us because it is easy to make a disabled person consent to sex. We are also told that we have few choices, and we need to “settle for what we can get”. These are deeply hurtful sentiments that are too common. Neurodivergent people have the right to refuse sex from anybody for any reason, just like anybody else. We have a right to healthy and fulfilling sexual relationships, and to have our autonomy respected. And we have a right to be alone if nobody in our lives can live up to these very simple expectations. To promote healthy sexual relationships for autistic people, we need to expand what “sex” is. As sex is any bodily stimulation shared between people, if the one-dimensional “neurotypical sex” is dangerously stimulating to the sensory profile of an autistic person, or not stimulating enough, autistic people can change what “sex” means in order for it to be satisfying. Senses and stimulation can change to meet each individual’s needs. It is our body, and our relationship. Nobody outside of our bedroom can tell us if we’re doing it wrong. We also need to expand how consent is given and taken away. Verbal cues such as “I want you” and “stop” are not useful when an autistic person is in non-verbal space, as we often go into when we are overstimulated; the circumstance where we will most definitely need to be communicating that we need this to stop. Healthy autistic sex will have multiple cues for starting and stopping, utilizing both verbal and non-verbal communication. For example, three hard taps on a bed, covering the face with one or both hands, or violent twisting of the body could be non-verbal cues to stop. Ignoring non-verbal cues to stop sex must be taken as seriously as verbal cues to stop. The non-verbal cues must be recognized as if the person was screaming “STOP!!” at the top of their lungs. We also need adequate sex education for autistic youth and adults, to teach those important lessons about consent, bodily autonomy, sexual health, and how to recognize abuse. We need these teachings delivered using the preferred communication of the autistic person receiving the lesson. And more than that, we need adults to model these teachings about consent, and respect the bodily autonomy of autistic people of any age. Other select essays:
--- Christopher Whelan is an autistic social worker living and working in his home community of Fort McMurray, Alberta, Canada. Christopher is a founder of Neurodiversity YMM and Autistics United Fort McMurray – Cree, Dene, Dane-zaa, & Métis Territory. After months of consultation with autistic self-advocates, Christopher published The 95 Theses of Neurodiversity in April 2020. You can read more of his work on his blog, AutisticRights.net. |